Hi, Semoga semua sihat2 sahaja.

Pada waktu ini, di tempat saya berada, cuacanya sangat panas. Rumput2 yang dulunya hijau, sekarang sudah kering kecoklatan.

Pada waktu ini, semua mengharapkan hari hujan.

Sabar saja.

~kddg-iii

~SABM

 Hello World…

How’s everyone doin?

Hope all is surviving well….

That’s all for now…. 

 Canon In D - Best Accapella Music

It's been a while... listening to this really gave me some sort of Peace in my heart.....

Try to listen to it... and tell me what you think..

Our Little Prince is here

In the midst of Covid-19 Pandemic, Our third child was born on April 13th, 2020.  His read due date were supposed to be on April 23rd, 2020, but as it was an elective delivery, we have to agree with the general hospital to make it earlier than the due date.

Please welcome,

E'Evander Dewevth Prince of Siagian-Daulin

Apabila anda diganggu 'manusia' lain...

Music Yang Menenangkan Jiwa

Anda dinasihatkan untuk bersabar... bersabar... dan terus bersabar... 

    Tapi sampai bila kah harus kesabaran ini diuji... Kalau diikutkan hati, sudah lama ranap segala gangguan mereka yang dilemparkan kepada kami, cuma nasib baik lah, ajaran dan didikan ibu bapa cukup untuk dijadikan perisai penahan diri. 

    Sudah terlepas perisai itu sebelum ini, hati terasa ringan, jika harus dilepaskan sekali lagi, boleh saja... cuma... bakal hadirnya ahli keluarga baru, sering membuat fikiran terasa cukup buntu untuk membuat pilihan yang bernas. 

    Sampai bila kah harus kesabaran ini diuji... 

   Adakah harus dibiarkan sahaja? Ada tertulis bahawa, berundur tidak semestinya kalah, maju tidak semestinya menang... 

 Pilihan manakah yang harus ku terajui? 

Bingung... 

Buntu... 

Pilu...

Canon in D

Always... loved this.

Now we're four

It's been quite some times since I last updated this space.

Life hasn't been easier, not even close.

And now that we are four in our small family, gives me a little bit of shine going through difficulties, hardship and stresses.

And of course stresses comes from within, yet being together, brings much more joy and happiness than before...

I have a story to tell...

About life... a little more to add to the spices... I hope to update it soon in this crumpled space of mine... Maybe not as interesting as experiencing it first hand... but maybe worth to tell...

Stay tuned.

~Ibu dan Bapa kepada anak-anakku sendiri~

Keinginanku sebagai seorang bapa, ialah untuk memberikan 'input' POSITIF dan membangun terhadap anak-anakku

     Pernahkah kamu terfikir, bagaimana perasaanmu sebagai seorang ibu... seorang bapa... di saat anakmu kau lihat ditakut-takuti dengan benda2 mahupun perihal2 kecil? Hatiku meronta melontarkan amukan yang sekian lama tertahan setelah terdengar anakku yang sedang membesar dengan baik dilontari perkataan2 yang sedemikian.

     Jauh di benak sanubariku, AKU INGIN ANAKKU TIDAK MENGETAHUI HAL BERKAITAN DENGAN 'TAKUT'... hal2 yang boleh dikatakan merencatkan psikologi mereka.  Hal berhati2 sepatutnya disampaikan dengan perkataan yang jauh lebih membangun dan positif.

     Tidak juga ku ingin sentiasa terdengar kata2 yang terus menerus mengajarkan anak2ku itu dan ini... bukan kerana aku tak ingin dibantu membimbing, membangun, menegur dan menjaga anak2ku ini... tetapi KU HANYA INGIN MENJADI SEORANG BAPA.... Mungkin kamu tak pernah diperbuat seperti ini disebabkan tinggal jauh dari keluargamu sendiri setelah mahligai keluargamu dibina, oleh yang demikian tak terasa olehmu bagaimana perasaanku apabila diperlakukan sedemikian pula olehmu...

     Sejak kecil aku dididik berasaskan kata2... itu dan ini, sedemikian dan sebegini, takkan pula sehingga ke lubang kubur aku harus mendengarkan juga perkataan2 itu lagi, bukan lagi daripada kedua orang tuaku, tetapi daripada orang di sekelilingku... biarku melangkah berdasarkan KEPUTUSANKU SENDIRI, keputusan KAMI... maumu bukan mahuku... sukamu bukanlah sukaku...

     Sekali ini, biarlah aku dan isteriku mendidik anak2ku... caraku, cara kami... bukan caramu... kehendakku, kehendak kami... bukan kehendakmu...

AKU HANYA INGIN MENJADI SEORANG BAPA, DAN ISTERIKU SEBAGAI IBU ANAK2KU....

"Ditelan Mati Emak, Diludah Mati Bapa"

Hello crumpledspace... It has been a long time buddy... Now I'm back again, maybe for a moment, maybe for quite some times...

Hidup sememangnya dipenuhi dugaan dan pelbagai pancaroba. Ada yang dalam dan ada juga yang cetek.

Apa pun yang kita tempuhi, HIDUP HARUS DITERUSKAN.

Beberapa bulan yang lalu, kehadiran bayi keduaku begitu menceriakan duniaku ini. Kini mampu dia berdiri sendiri walau tak pernah membuat langkahnya yang pertama, cukup membuatku gembira di samping kekasih dan teman baik sepanjang hayatku, seorang yang kugelar isteriku.

Dalam hidup berumahtangga ini, bukan sahaja bererti kita mengahwini isteri yang kita sayangi, tetapi juga keluarga isteri atau suami kita itu.

Kegemilangan seseorang tidaklah terletak di seluruh zamannya.  Sama seperti adanya masa kelahiran, ada juga masa kematian. Ada masa sihat, ada masa kita sakit. Begitu lah selanjutnya, ada masa yang terbaik, ada yang paling buruk. Dikala ku mencoretmu 'crumpledspace', aku diduga dengan pelbagai keadaan perit.

Keluarga kecilku bahagia walau dengan kepayahan hidup, dan keterbergantungan hidup dengan ibu dan ayahku sementara kini.

Banyak perancangan yang telah kutulis, namun tidak berhasil.  Tekananku dalam berkeluarga amat dalam kurasai pada masa kini.  Mungkinkah disebabkan oleh belenggu yang tetap mengikat kakiku sehingga sekarang ini?

Ku tidak persalahkan keadaan. Ini lah lumrah dunia. Namun yang mengecewakanku adalah.... terpaksa mengharungi sesuatu yang kusut, walhal tak perlu aku dan isteriku tempuhi.  Adakah perlu aku memberontak?

Sesuatu yang dapat ku elakkan, namun terpaksa ku redahi, amat menyakitkanku.

Sesuatu yang mampu ku halang, namun terpaksa ku tempuhi, amat mengecewakanku.

Aku cuma berkehendakkan sesuatu yang baik bagiku sekeluarga kecil ini...

Namun tak dapat ku tembusi, disebabkan'mu' keadaan. Tidak ku persalahkanmu...

Kegiatan seharianku juga amat terhalang, oleh individu tertentu, oleh kerana sengketa yang muncul tanpa asal dan usul. Sengketa tersebut tiba-tiba hadir di kalanganku, entah kenapa.  

Hati ini ingin memberontak... MEMBERONTAK!!!!! 

Di benak fikiranku, jika ku sempitkan... banyak jalan lain yang mampu ku renangi, namun jalan-jalan tersebut akan mengukir padah yang tak ternilai punahnya. Dalam benak fikiranku, jika ku luaskan... aku terpaksa menghadapi 'keadaan' ini, dan akibatnya, keluargaku, dan aku sendiri... mungkin akan terus reput, dan mereput, dan lemas, tenggelam bersama 'keadaan' ini...

Ditelan? atau... Diludah?

Bagiku mudah...

Namun...

Ku amati 'keadaan'... di mana isteriku berdiri kini... adakah berbaloi 'ditelan'? atau 'diludah'?

Setiap langkah yang ku lakukan, selalunya akan dibias, dibidas, dihalang oleh suatu individu dengan cara yang begitu 'diskrit' cukup diskrit dan membuatku kekadang MENGAMUK!! dan melepaskan geramku kearah Putera ku sendiri. (Maafkan ku puteraku, aku tahu ITU SALAH!!) Namun tak dapat ku bendung bebanan yang semakin hari semakin dalam jatuhnya di hatiku ini.

Aku sudah bosan...

You're TWO now

My Prince L' are turning TWO this 10th August....

Your mom did well in taking care of you... You're growing up so well.

Last Friday s + Saturdays sneak peak.

Thanks Mom, Amanda, Alina, Fae & June... God bless...

Since I left...

On January 13th, 2015, I boarded the flight, scheduled to take of at 3.45PM

That day, my heart breaks

It is not something that I want, not something really pleasant for me and my denn and little boy...

Days pasts, it even got heavier and heavier... I missed both of them.  I missed to tickle that little 'him'.. His laughter, smiles, sounds, is just as a completion of our life jig-saw puzzle... without it, our lives won't be as complete as it should...

But...

Here I am... waiting... waiting... and waiting....

Where's the opportunity??? I'm still waiting... waiting... and waiting...

I've got an email though, asking me about where I would like to be stationed. Done with the reply, just to continue waiting... waiting... and still waiting...

I really hope to get answers soon... I can't live without my other half... and for sure I'll DIE without my little boy... He's AWESOME!!!! didn't you know that???... Meet with him yourself... you'll certainly adore him.

God... Be with my parents, my brothers and sister, and my little one and my wife.... and also my extended family...

Amen.

Our little boy bleed today

How hurtful it is to see you bleed. It's not just mere luck that you didn't broke your teeth this morning, the holy Angeles cushioned you just at the right time when you fell from that chair you climbed. It's the morning where you are being prepared to go to Sabbath School today little cub, and daddy is so angry for not being able to protect you from harm, danger. Your mommy denn, she was in all ways, responsible in attending and fulfilling all of her mother's requests. While daddy onnicked is still having his morning dreams,  you are being ignored, and left alone, pondering the cold white floor. We are so sorry that you didn't have all the attention a little boy should be having at this age.

What you've always heard is a loud voice, while you... you cried alone...

This is not what we intended to let you get into my little prince,  we wanted with all of our heart and strength, to raise you in the most proper way.

We wanted to prepare you, for your future and the continuation of our family's good reputation, so you may live the best life even when your mommy denn and daddy onnicked are no longer with you in this world.

Daddy onnicked regretted this so much, that you've bleed on your lip. We doesn't want us to live this way little one, but the burdens are all on your mommy denn. Deep inside daddy's heart, is a cursing words, to those who didn't took their best responsibilities in taking part of what your mommy's been carrying since before.

Daddy dreams of having our own family time might not come during your time little 'L', but we will try to make it up to you soon.

Blogspot,  I hope that this isn't a curse. Lets help me to find our way, to have our small family, live like any other family. Damn! We deserves that.

Big machine vs traditional hand made

Its a beautiful day!

Now, I want to print out what is in my mind, about 'home made murukku'.

There's someone saying, that a home made muruku, has a far far far far far far better taste than those which is mass produced in a factory.

Lets dig it out why do these common thinking destitute to some peoples mind.

Those hand processed products of murukku, said to be much more tastier, why? In the minds of those people, it is made with patience and love and hard work. The ingredients? Everything was added in a proper amount. Now the outcome of those murukku, is far better, tastier, and good.

The factory processed murukku? It is made by a machine with no heart or feeling. The ingredients? Everything was added in a proper amount, directly proportional to the amount of a small hand made murukku. Now the outcome of those murukku, IS AS GOOD AS THE HAND PROCESSED PRODUCT!!! Why? Because food doesn't need feeling to make it tastier, all it needs is INGREDIENTS... and the PROCESSING methods. If the factory can knead those same ingredient with the same timing, the outcome will ALWAYS BE THE SAME!!!

So, do not say, that factory made product are less better than those made at home. Those which are not tasty are those which is made with less and much lesser ingredients, that is all that makes the differences.

Preservative... yes of course, in the factory they did add it in, because the product was being produced with mass production. Keep it from spoiling. BUT it doesn't even change the taste....

NO, hand made, hand knead, are not even good if not all the actual ingredient was added.

Happy day folks! Keep your heart running...

~~The wheather is turning its way around~~

Hi Blogspot!~

It has been raining since the past few days.  What a relief. Now I can sleep real tight with all those comforter. No more heat, no more sweat.

The only problem now was, the electricity which is really unstable especially around the evening till midnight.  It switches off and back on again.  This old desktop has got the burden, but I hope it'll be good for another year or best if it lasts a few more years.

Well, now the ground is full of dirt, but I am happy. I do not complaint.  I like this cool atmosphere.  I just hope that it'll stay this cool at least until the end of this year.

I like it!...

Denn, P. L'Lander, lets call it a day for today... 'phew'....(Sigh....)

Monday Wow...

I somehow accidentally brought home a matchbox Monday evening from AA... I'm gladly and happily received a token from Jesicca Calvin for Prince L'Lander Daulin... Her father honked a few times, yet she continue on completing those... and lastly, gave it to me... L'Lander would appreciate it so much... Thanks Jess..... and those who owned thosed matchbox, ayaaa, sorry, unintentionally made a magic causes your matchbox to disappeared. :)

Tags, Denn' Siagian Anchoe Larson Daulin Dyrll Goddech Daulin

I learnt new philosophy today

We were driving by the round about this evening, when a double cabin car hit a dog. That's when I heard it from my youngest brother.

Here's what its all about.

This world, where we lived on/in, was shared with so many other creatures... We do not have the rights to say, "this is ours, and that's not yours", we do not have the rights to say, "that's the only thing you can have, and this is all for us, and only for our kinds".  We share this earth, we do not own it.

What I learnt from my brother at that time, is some how so true.  When a dog was hit by a car, whose fault was it? The driver? The dog? Damn wrong if its the dog!!! How hurt it is to know, that all those lands, those roads, was initially belongs to 'nature'. Those dogs, they've got a very distinct rights to claim, that the road are theirs, they just do not have the ability like all humans to tell it out loud, because they aren't as complicated as humans.. I'd say, humans are the one to be blamed when they hit the animals on the road. Humans are monsters; they took everything away for themselves, and credit just about everything to themselves. They took away nature, the playground of all of the animals, just for themselves, and when those stupid human hit the animals where they've laid roads on the animals playground, they even says that the animals are the one to blame!!!... Human are so inhuman, even though we've always heard human says, human acts like animals, as if animals were the worsts....

Humans, humans, humans... Stop thinking that you're the geniuses... You're not more than those caterpillar, ducks, nightingale, fishes.... you're just special, because you have the power to chose.

Thanks brother...

DSI Value dropped

I was shocked by the descending percentage of the business.

Yet, I am fully aware, that the company will be standing up... and stay strong for the next 5 years.

We, The members, must support our company... so the benefits can be gain, and we can earn it together.

Kehidupan bak angin

Angin bertiup tanpa arah

Tanpa petunjuk, dan tanpa sesiapa yang mengarahnya.  Angin bertiup secara semulajadinya mengikut telunjuk sang pencipta.

Tanpa arah.  Sedih mengingatkan kejadian semalam.  Mungkin ada yang disakiti, namun hati ini pun, turut sama sakit rasanya.

Kekadang hati ini, kemahuannya tidak terduga.  Kemahuannya kekadang dipersetujui, terkadang pula tidak disukai.  Namun apakan daya, hati sememangnya kekadang teringin merasa nasi berwarna merah semasa teman sebelah teringinkan nasi pulut.

Dingin... Hening... Stress...

Sesampai di rumah tadi, di ambang pintu, terlihat teman karibku, melebar-lebarkan tilam nipis itu, buat alas si kecil tatkala dia terjerumus ke bawah.  Namun mata ku ini, tercari-cari, mana pula perginya si kecil nih? Di sebalik bakul pengumpulan kain, keluar bunyi... "erhkh??!!".. dengan nada seperti bertanya, sambil pada masa yang sama, keluar pula kepala si kecil yang sedang merangkak sambil teleng kepalanya melihat ke arah pintu di tempatku berdiri... WAAahhh.. gembira rasanya hati melihat dia. Macam tau pula di mana perlu dilihatnya.  Ku senyum padanya dan memanggil namanya... lalu dilontarkan senyumannya seperti selalu, senyuman gembira, sambil meronta-ronta ingin dilepaskan untuk ke tempat ku...

Huh... senang hatiku melihat keluarga kecilku.  Si kecil bertumbuh dengan sempurna, walaupun bibir kiri bawah, membengkak sedikit setelah dia cuba berdiri berdekatan rak-rak album petang tadi... Masih merah bekasnya. Kesian dia... Ah, memang proses pembesaran, dia akan tetap lalui pelbagai suka dan duka... terpaksa ibu dan bapanya menjaga dia sepanjang masa... bukan terpaksa, tetapi telah menjadi suatu tanggungjawab yang diberikan kepadaNya kepada kami berdua.

Saat ini, hati masi terasa sakit, terluka, tergores.... Di adventist auditorioum tadi, kelihatan dua sikat kulit pisang rebus, dibuang kembali ke hadapan stor minuman adik Atoh.  Adik berkata, ia telah dibuang di tepi pagar dua hari sebelumnya. Tapi entah mengapa lah janitor adventist auditorium nih, ada-ada sahaja hal yang dibuatnya.  Terhidu mcm busuknya hatinya, lebih busuk dari bangkai anjing yang terlerai di tepi-tepi jalanraya tu.. Hai, nak mengadu dengan pihak pengurusan mission... pun macam tiada tindakan pun yang dibuat mereka.  Biar lah... tengok macam mana, si bapa pun macam tenang-tenang saja hari ini, jadi biar lah.

Di tengah malam ini, teringat pula, kebosanan yang menimpa dalam hidup ini... Aku bosan, tidak dapat menjalani kehidupan seperti keluarga-keluarga lain.  Aku pun teringin juga merasai hidup berkeluarga yang mana dijalani sesama aku, temanku, dan sikecil kami tu.  Tanggungjawab menjaga puan yang terutama, dipikul sepenuhnya oleh temanku... dan kekadang, kakak angah temanku, akan menggantikannya sekiranya ada masa cuti yang diperolehinya... Namun pertukaran shift menjaga puan yang terutama itu, tidak memadai hati dan fikiranku, sebab jauh di lubuk hati ini, teringin ku menjalani kehidupan seperti kakak long temanku, yang berkeluarga, dan menjaga dan mendidik anak-anak mereka tanpa gangguan dari mana-mana pihak.

Aku bosan, bukannya bosan biasa, aku teringin menjalani hidup normal berkeluarga, dan merasai dunia ini milik kami bertiga sahaja... namun sekarang, tidak ku tahu, dapatkah ku kecapinya? boleh ka kami merasai apa yang dirasai keluarga-keluarga lain, membesarkan si kecil dengan penuh perhatian, tanpa apa-apa yang mengganggu tumpuan?... Ingin juga ku rasai, setiap kali ku balik, si teman akan menyambutku dengan senyuman, mendengar suaranya bertanya "bagaimana hari mu hari ini?"... mendengar si kecil bergelak ketawa bersama ibunya... Tetapi di sebaliknya lah yang sedang berlaku... Jikalau bukan bunyi suara-suara halus yang meminta itu dan ini, ini dan itu, mengajar itu dan ini, ini dan itu, suara si teman lah yang ku akan dengar, suara si teman yang sedang marah, geram, apabila puan yang terutama itu melemparkan suara-suara, arahan-arahan, permintaan-permintaan yang kurang patut... terutamanya kurang patut pada pandangan temanku itu... kesian temanku... aku tidak mampu membantunya menjaga puan, kecuali semasa membawa puan ke rumah sakit tatkala tiba tarikh temujanjinya dengan GP.

Apa yang patut ku lakukan?? sudah lama soalan itu berputar-balik di kepala ku... memang sudah cukup lama.  Tunggu lah dulu, bila aku mendapat perkerjaan yang agak baik.  Mungkin akan ku usahakan mencari pembantu puan.  Mungkin gajinya dibahagikan dengan dua, atau tiga, tidak ku tahu... Mungkin juga hanya seorang yang akan membayar?? Tunggu dan lihat.

Apa-apa pun blogspot, terima kasih, kerana memberikan ku peluang, menempatkan perasaanku yang daif ini di halamanmu sekali lagi.  Bukannya bertujuan memberi tahu seluruh dunia berkenaan hidupku, tetapi siapa lagi yang teringin membaca kisahku kalau bukan engkau blogspot.

Semoga bertemu di lembaran lain.

Selamat malam semua.

Musuh besar Hari Ini

Hello blogspot,

My data package for internet is nearly to its limit now. It is still 10 days before it'll be renewed again.

When I woke up this morning, with my prince sitting next to me, my wife beside him, I realized something, that I've already realized long ago, yet, nothing I could do about it, because I'm a dumb person with no way to go, and no way to move and even no destination in life.

TIME... is one of the biggest enemy in my personal life.  Sometimes, people wanted to wait for the perfect time to do the right thing, waste time because they thought they have lots of it.... but we are wrong.

Time flies, and it will never turns back. Just like a bullet train, once it off the point, it wont stop until the next point of destination it scheduled to stop.

Timing makes me hurt... well, might be because of I'm a very unorganized dumb@$$.... well, people says $#!+ happens but it isn't an excuse.

Arrghh.. let it go... the more I think of it, the more the wound will continue to bleed...

*****

Today, my beloved sister are leaving again, to the other side of the land, to study... I haven't quite content with her, for I haven't spent quite enough time playing around and joking with her, but her holidays ended this weekend. She needs preparations for her next semesters syllabus.

Have a save journey adie, I wish to meet you again very soon...

*****

One more thing, THIS IS THE FIRST TIME OUR PRINCE vomits while on the bed!! and he vomited and just missed my mouth. Hahahaa...  

*****

Thats it for now, I hope the SAA will be in peace with my parents... Adios!!!  

Hari ni genap lah setahun lagi umurku... Syukur ku panjatkan kepada Ilahi, di atas segala berkat yang dilimpahkanNya kepadaku...

Apabila tiba2 teringatkan blog yang sudah usang ini, kesian pula.  Sudahlah follower pun 2 orang saja... rindu pula dengan si nanako, ada blogspot dia, dailyrambles, tapi pautan dia lain nama sudah.. nah ini sudah namanya http://shiawasenomahou.blogspot.com/ ....ntah dia sudah kawen kaaa... xtau lah dia.. (geli hati ketawa kecil tanpa suara (muted)).. hihihihiii.... manaaa sudah perkataan 'kambing'... dia tuh.. yg selalu dilemparkan bila diusik.. haha... kawan si nanako, kalau tidak silap, si atie, mungkin masih di Sabah, Tuaran kali ah..

Walau apa pun, mo update2 blog sudah la nih... mana tau, ada juga insan yang sudi p baca2 diari hidup seorang manusia yang bernama KDD, hidup sudah 32x pusingan matahari... ada pula satu orang penyeri hidup yang sekarang sudah berusia 8"15'....

Kawan2 yang lain, entah p mana sudah... yang tetap kekal dlm contact, yg ada si Shah Alam, si Rice Kay... Yono Singgar Jumin.... Hurrmm....

Hari ini, siap 67% sudah website yg sa buat... jenguk2 lah... ada alamat sini nih.. nah.. ku typekan.
www.onnicked.com
www.bossventure.eu

Kedua-dua webpage tu aku yang punya... (tiba-tiba teringat, sejak bila pula aku menggunakan kata ganti nama 'aku' nih, dari dulu pakai 'saya' puuun... biar jak)... kalau ada yg mo buat webpage sendiri, murah saja bah, ada yg free, tapi tidak dpt customize kan? haa, kalau sendiri ada domain, sendiri custom..

Nanti akan dicuba2 untuk update blog lah...
Bye for now....